8 Steps From Boring Talker to Dynamic Speaker

At 18, I’d grip the steering wheel of my Suzuki Samurai, my knuckles white, as I drove through the shadowed streets to The Rescue Mission—a weathered homeless shelter with a flickering neon cross out front. The air inside was thick with the scent of stale coffee and desperation, but there was a catch for the hungry souls shuffling in: before they could claim their free meal, they had to sit through chapel, where the Word of God was preached. 

This was where I first stepped into the ring of communication—and I was an absolute disaster. My voice cracked, my words stumbled, and the sea of tired eyes staring back at me seemed to scream, “You’re wasting our time.” I could feel the weight of their hunger, their impatience, pressing against me like a ticking clock. Would I ever get through to them? Or would I crash and burn, leaving them as empty as their stomachs?

But week after week, I kept showing up, each sermon a high-stakes gamble to connect. Slowly, painfully, I started to crack the code—what words lit a spark, what gestures held their gaze, what stories made the room lean in just a little closer. It was a battlefield of trial and error, and I was learning to wield communication like a blade. That was 29 years ago, and since that crucible at The Rescue Mission, the art of communication has been my secret weapon, opening doors and forging paths in ways I never could’ve imagined.

Learning how to communicate well is a tremendous gift that will bless your marriage, your parenting, your friends, and your wallet. 

1. Deliver one big idea. 

Every time you speak, deliver one big idea. If you have two points your audience will forget both. 

When I built custom homes with my dad, my brother and I would compete on who could hammer the nail all the way in with one swing. That’s what you want to do with your audience. Have one big idea. Drive it all the way home. 

Your big idea is the lightning rod of your message. Every single point you make must support your one big idea. And if it doesn’t, cut it out. 

To figure out your main point, ask yourself a simple question: “What is the one big idea I want my audience to take away from this speech?” 

For example, what I want you to get from this blog post is how to become a dynamic communicator. 

2. Show your audience EXACTLY how to apply what you are teaching. 

When you have mastered something it’s easy to forget all the struggles you overcame to arrive where you are today. We take for granted how many little things we had to learn along the way. So go back and remember what it was like when you got started. Put yourself in your listener's shoes and ask: What guidance do they need in order to SUCCEED at this? What obstacles are they going to face as they try to apply what I am teaching them? 

The better you can do this the more your listtener will connect with you. Your listener needs to feel like you understand his struggle.

This is why I work hard to be less like Pericles, the ancient Athenian orator who inspired the Athenians, and more like Demosthenes who moved them to take up arms and fight for their country, wives, and children.

Pericles delivered abstract inspiration. But Demosthenes moved men to action. 

You don’t want your listeners shouting, “Amen!” You want them getting off their seats and into the game. 

This is why in the Craftsmen Cohort, I provide training that shows the men every single step they need to take–all the way down to what to look up, click, or write, as they build their course to create financial wealth for them and their families. 

As you show your listener how to apply what you are teaching, do it methodically, step-by-step. One of the biggest mistakes speakers make is assuming that their listeners know every step to take. Be so structured and clear that a 10 year old would understand. 

Speaking at elementary level > speaking at college level

In the heat of the 2016 U.S. presidential primaries, researchers ran an experiment.

They ran the speeches of the Republican candidates and through the Flesch-Kincaid readability test—a tool used to measure how easy or difficult something is to understand.

The results were shocking.

Ted Cruz: ninth-grade level.

Ben Carson and Mike Huckabee: eighth grade.

And then… Donald Trump.

His speeches averaged at a third- to fourth-grade level.

Not college-level. Not even high school. Elementary.

And yet—who won the nomination?

Here’s the twist: using big words might make you feel smarter, but it doesn’t make you more persuasive.

If you want to move people, don’t try to impress their intellect. Speak so clearly that a child could follow you—and adults can’t look away.

3. Use action verbs. 

Am, is, are, was, were, be, being, and been are being verbs. They will put your listener to sleep. Use action verbs instead.

Instead of saying, “Johnny was at the store,” say “Johnny drove to the store.” 

Instead of saying, “Be more clear” say, “Use clarity in your writing.” 

Instead of saying, “Be a saver” say, “Save your extra funds.” 

Don’t give your audience a photo album to flip through. Give them a movie to watch. 

4. Eliminate filler words. 

Last Christmas at a party I won a board game called, “You Can't Say Umm” and played it with my family. In seconds we realized we use filler words like an 8th grader padding their essay at 2 a.m. 

If you have a habit of using filler words, get rid of them! 

If you say, “I can’t,” then you will fulfill that belief, because he who says “I can” and he who says, “I can’t” are both right. 

Because I sometimes say things backwards (thank God my wife’s name is KK),  I made a deal with my family: if I say anything in reverse order, I serve them for five minutes.

It worked like magic! Try the same for your filler words and watch how fast it fixes your problem. 

5. Illustrate your points.  

Illustrate each point you make, with stories from your own life. For example, I began this blog post with a story about me preaching at the Rescue Mission at age 18. That story was used to ignite your interest and help drive home my one big idea. 

This has several benefits. 

• It will make your speaking far more interesting. Stories are the currency of human connection. 

• It will connect you better with your listener. Sharing how your kids made a huge mess at the dinner table, how your airplane flight was 6 hours late so you tried to sleep on the airport bench, or how your car battery died in the middle of a snowstorm are the everyday stories of life that humans relate to. 

• It will make the point you are making much more memorable. Until someone can integrate your point into their personal life experience, their ability to remember it is very low. 

• It will help your listener to better apply what you are teaching, since you gave them a vivid example from everyday life. 

• It will allow you to use humor even if you are not a funny person. If the situation you tell was funny, it will probably make your listener laugh without you even trying.

6. Anticipate your listener's objections. 

The best way to do this is by asking questions. 

“What happens when a speaker suddenly stops and asks you a question?” You answer it in your mind. That increases their engagement. See what I did there?  (Aha! I did it again!) 

And when you ask questions, anticipate the kind of questions they are going to ask. My favorite lesson in persuasion comes from the unlikeliest of places—a copy of Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking.

I’ve never even touched a cigarette, but this book has liberated millions from the iron grip of nicotine addiction, helping them quit cold turkey. That kind of power grabbed me by the collar—I had to uncover its secret. And here’s the twist: buried in its pages is one of the most electrifying masterclasses in marketing I’ve ever encountered, even though it doesn’t mention the word “marketing” once.

In the beginning of his book, Allen Carr makes the outrageous statement that when you use his method to quit smoking, “You not only find it easy to quit, but you can actually enjoy the process from the moment you extinguish the last cigarette.” 

Allen knows that almost everyone who reads this statement–even non-smokers–are going to say, “BS! That’s not possible!” 

So instead of ignoring it, Allen draws attention to their objection and writes, “If there were such a magical method, would you use it? Chances are you would. But of course you don’t believe in magic. Neither do I. Nevertheless the method I describe above does exist. I call it EASYWAY. In fact it isn’t magic, it just seems that way.” 

Allen literally disarms the objections before his reader has a chance to object. Do the same when you speak. 

7. Speak for one person. 

As you speak, imagine that you are speaking to one person. When recording some of my earliest videos, I printed a picture of my dog’s face and put it in front of me as I spoke to remind me to keep it personal. 

This will help you to speak very personably without even trying.

8. End with impact.

Close with a clear takeaway, a call to action, or an inspiring thought. Leave your audience feeling motivated, informed, or moved. Don’t just end. Make it strong. 

Let me be real with you: it is not easy to learn how to speak well. It WILL be difficult. 

But don’t let that discourage you. Learning to do something of high value is difficult the first time for everyone. We learned to crawl, then walk, and then run. You can learn how to speak dynamically as well! 

But if you wait until you have perfected your speaking skills before building your coaching business, you’ll never learn how to speak well. So instead, learn as you go. 

President Theodore Roosevelt impressed millions with his ability to hold audiences fixated with his oratory.  But what most people don’t know is that his first speech was a flop. He delivered it in February of 1879 and people called it his “maiden speech.” It was terrible. He was shy and struggled to enunciate clearly.

So what changed? His willingness to improve. So can you!