Stop Arguing with Haters. Do this Instead.

When you build your online business, receiving hate is part of the package deal. It's never a matter of if but when. 

Name a single leader who created powerful impact who was not hated by someone sometime somewhere.

I want you to be ready. 

These 7 ways won’t just help you if someone attacks you. I'll show you how to turn criticism into fuel that strengthens you while multiplying your impact. 

When Jesus walked this earth, more people hated Him than loved Him. Yet today He continues to shake the world and impact billions. 

One of the costs of leadership is being disliked, misunderstood, and even hated. 

But this hate is not random. God allows it for a reason. In His marvelous wisdom He will turn online hate into rocket fuel for your mission if you receive it as Christ did. 

I am no stranger to criticism. When one of my companies had to file bankruptcy I received torrents of online attacks as if I was the devil himself.

And yet it turned into one of the biggest blessings of my life. 

Way #1. Do not reason with haters.

Reasoning with a hater would be like reasoning with the Jews who screamed “Crucify him!” at Jesus' arrest. 

You have to understand something about haters: they do not use reason. 

They do not care about reason. 

They have taken relativism to its self-sabotaging but inevitable conclusion: "If this is true to me, then it’s 100% true, regardless of facts and evidence."

Haters need someone to blame because they never learned how to take ownership for their own decisions. Even if the whole world proved you did the best you could, haters will still hate. That’s why they’re called haters. It’s less about you and more about the kind of person they are. 

In 2005, my son Ejay was 3 years old. Ejay loved cookies. He had this habit of sneaking cookies out of the cupboard, and hiding them under his pillow. Then, late in the night, he would enjoy a midnight snack. 

One morning I asked him why he took cookies without permission and he said, “I didn’t take a cookie.” 

So I opened the cupboard and said, “Then why are there 3 cookies missing?” 

“That was Atalie,” he replied. (Atalie is his little sister.)

“Oh, it was Atalie.” 

“Yeah,” he said. 

“Okay,” I said, “I want to show you something.” He followed me into his room, where I pointed at the breadcrumbs. “What are these?” 

“Those are from Josiah,” Ejay said. (Josiah is his big brother).

“And why would Josiah eat cookies on your bed?” I asked. 

“Cause he took the cookies!” he replied. 

Notice how each time I offered evidence that he stole three cookies, he blamed someone else. Kids do this. 

A wise parent will teach their kids how to stop blaming and start taking ownership for their own decisions. Sadly some kids missed out on this training. And it shows. 

It’s almost cute when a kid does it. But when an adult does it, it’s kind of ugly. 

It's like when famous hip hop artist, R. Kelly, who sexually abused and trafficked women and minors, when shown mountains of evidence, still denied it. 

This is why you cannot reason with haters. No matter what you say, they are ideologically committed to hate, because that is their nature. 

Way #2. Accept the things you cannot change. 

In the early 20th century, American theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr stood in the pulpit and prayed this prayer,

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

That prayer became the serenity prayer, prayed by millions today around the world. 

So let’s get some facts straight: 

Fact #1: Will people criticize you? Yes. 

Fact #2: Can you control people who criticize you? No. 

Fact #3: Will it make you feel better focusing on the people who criticize you? Never. 

So what do you do? Accept that it’s going to happen. 

It will free you to relax again, breathe a little, and go back to building your life. 

Way #3. Pour your energy into those who appreciate you. 

Focus on the people who appreciate what you do. And do an amazing job for them. 

When you focus on doing ONE thing well for ONE niched down audience: 

• You enjoy life far more.

• You take the burden of the world off your shoulders.

• Instead of trying to please everyone, you invest in the people God placed into your life. 

• You end up making far more money. 

Before the rise of the internet followed by social media, most humans came in contact with one to a few dozen people in the course of a week. 

Now we have the ability to be in contact with MILLIONS. 

But the human mind was not designed to handle the volume of praise and criticism of millions of people. 

And if that’s not enough, people will say things from the safety of their keyboard, that they would never say to your face. 

So get in the habit of ignoring the haters and focus on those who appreciate your business. It takes time, but eventually it becomes second nature.

Way #4. Realize that online criticism will only hurt you, if you let it.

"But Seth, this person is slandering me."

So?

"But Seth, what they are saying is a lie!"

Okay.

"Seth, I have a right to defend myself!"

That’s what they hope you do. Your reaction will feed their sick addiction to negativity. 

The only person on this planet who can make online criticism about you, damaging to you, is you. 

Let me put it this way: imagine that you never heard any of the criticism. You’d be fine. It’d be as if it never happened! 

When you conquer it in your heart, you win forever. 

Way #5. Let criticism keep you humble.

I want to be real. 

There may be days where it gets to you a little more. Especially if it’s from people whom you helped and served. 

When you feel that deep inside, and it’s hard to NOT think about, ask God to use it to humble you. Because a humble man is a strong man. He has nothing to defend. 

When you are mercilessly attacked and you learn to be okay with it, and when you’re not okay with it you take it to God, you become an unstoppable beast. 

Look at Trump. I don’t care if you love him or hate him. Trump was hated, attacked relentlessly by the biggest news outlets in the world, people even used the legal system to go after him, and when that didn’t work they tried to kill him, not once but twice. 

And 5 months ago he was elected into the most powerful position in the world. Instead of letting those attacks wear him down, he channeled it into strength. 

Way #6. Embrace criticism as part of your growth. 

Just like every other obstacle in your life, criticism does not happen TO you but FOR you. 

Thank God for it. 

You won’t just get criticized. You will also receive a lot of praise. 

And let me tell you, between criticism and praise, praise has far more power to destroy your soul than criticism. Mankind is the closest to his own destruction when he becomes full of himself. 

Charles Spurgeon said, "A sensible friend who will unsparingly criticise you from week to week will be a far greater blessing to you than a thousand indiscriminating admirers, if you have sense enough to bear his treatment and grace enough to be thankful for it." 

Way #7. You can always start again.

Okay, so let’s say online criticism manages to hurt your online brand and business so much that it’s destroyed. Congratulations! 

You learned more through that experience than Stanford and UC Berkeley could have taught you combined over a century of classes.  

Now it's time to start again. 

This is 10 times easier than it was when the sum total of people you would see in a lifetime was between 10,000 to 20,000 people.  

Here is the funny part. We feel like the world is over if a few dozen people attack us online. 

But the reality is: you are almost invisible. Think about it. Hardly anyone knows who you are. Hardly anyone knows who I am. 

Let’s say that 1 million online people know who you are. Seems like a LOT of people, right? No. You’re invisible. 1 million people is only 0.0121% of the total world population. That's 86 times less than 1 percent! 

So let’s say that 1 million people DO hate you. Does that silence you? Does that stop you? Of course not. 

Just go find 1 million other people who appreciate what you do. And ignore the rest. 

How do you do that? Choose your topic of interest and serve people relentlessly. 

And if you are trying to make a lot of money, you only need 200 clients buying your course at $5,000 to make one million dollars. Do that 10 times and you are now worth 8 figures.

Will people still hate you then? Sure. But what does it do to you? Still nothing. 

3,000 years ago, King Solomon wrote, "The fear of man brings a snare, But he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted.” 

Fearing people is a trap. Don’t give them that kind of power. Trust God and no matter what people say or think, your heart is free because the only opinion that will matter for all eternity is God's.